Here is what I would say to those contemplating as this has become an overwhelming risk for life…
1. Your pain is real. You aren’t imagining it or making it up. Human beings can’t make up emotions. We can feel them or learn to control them but we cant manufacture them insincerely. You feel terribly and you’re not “imagining it” or being “dramatic”.
2. Maybe you’ve felt this way for days, months, years. But, you won’t always feel this way. Find hope in things people forget to see. Blades of grass. The sweet smell of the summer wind. A cold blast of wind in the winter that sends shimmering flakes of snow swirling around you. Taste each moment. Stop thirsting for a perfect future. No one gets one of those.
3. Whatever you’ve done, you can fix it or find a way to get past it. Nothing is irredeemable. Nothing is unforgivable. A truly good person will find a way to at least let you live in the peace of your improved persona and lifestyle. Anyone who wants you to live in their resentful idea of the horror you should suffer for what you’ve done to them doesn’t deserve your perpetual pain.
4. The world is NOT better off without you. You are here because you were meant to play a part. Play it. Play it until your end comes naturally. And taking your own life is not natural. Not because it goes against any law but because we are meant to protect our own lives by nature. We are meant to protect ourselves because, without outside influence, we are born to know we are valuable. That’s why we jump and scream when we are scared. That’s why our hearts beat without thinking. We may be unable to breathe sometimes because of the chemical imbalance of our brains or trauma that’s gone unresolved but we always end up catching our breath. Our bodies want to live, even when our brains don’t. And they’re meant to work together for a reason.
5. Wait on that impulse. Many times we get in to a bad moment and we think we have to do something about it RIGHT NOW because it’s overbearing and unbearable to the point that we physically suffer. Breathe on it. Sit on it. Write on it. Talk on it. Do not act on it. Many of us who have felt like ending it have thought about ending it before. And we didn’t. And we got a little better. Imagine if you allowed yourself to extend those times a bit longer. How much better could you get if you strengthened your resolve to live? if you refuse to die just one more time, no matter how loudly your brain calls for you to end it all? A LOT stronger. A lot
6. People around you may not understand. But, someone out there can, at the very least, empathize. Only the ones who’ve found it easy to fit in and blend can say that they feel natural camaraderie wherever they go. They may be the majority, but, you are the extraordinary. CHOOSE TO BE EXTRAORDINARY!
7. Reach out. Speak your pain. Anonymously. In person. Online. However you have to. Giving a bit of it all to someone else isn’t a burden. You may find others actually enjoy helping people get through these things. I know I love to be on that end as opposed to the other. It gives me a sense of service to others.
8. Speaking of service to others… Be of service in any way you can. It makes it hard for your demons to devalue you if you’re out there doing any good you can possibly do.
9. Don’t think for a second that you can’t do this. You can. You have. You will. And maybe, someday, you won’t have to anymore. I know that for a fact as a person who has found contentment amidst troubles. Troubles I could’ve only conquered BECAUSE of my difficult past.
Death isn’t an end to suffering. Maybe you think your family will be better off without you. Or that your kids would be. Or that no one loves you so you may as well stop living. Someone loves you. Maybe you don’t see it. Maybe you don’t “know” it. It’s hard to “know” someone loves you if your brain refuses to register the feeling of love. No amount of proof of love would be able to make a mark in that brain. The beast of depression took over and told you that you’re not needed here and that the people YOU love would be better off if you were gone. But, if you pull that trigger or swallow those pills or whatever form of death you inflict upon yourself, all of the pain you feel just gets placed on another person’s shoulders. Or off into the negative energy of this world. Choose to protect your loved ones against your brain’s current maladies. Choose to be more than what anyone thought you capable of. Choose to live. To get help from credible sources when needed. Don’t pass it on. PUT IT on and wear it like a shield. Protect the world against what you WILL conquer if you choose to live step by step and day by day until you reach the point where you can say, “I wanted to die. So many times. But, I refused to give up or give in. I want to help my fellow man. I grew up and out. Here is how you get better.”❤️❤️❤️❤️
But when you hit the end and say nobody knows and I’m all on my own, you better make sure that’s true.