Time to shake loose from fear.
Fright that doesn’t have reason attached that holds me to the ground I’m sinking into.
I’ve been standing here, this way, too long.
The logic that I’ll be ok over there is present, but it fights with the feelings that remind me I wasn’t ok a few steps back.
Guilt or shame followed me.
Insecurity traveled along on my back.
Intellectually, I know, I’m ok.
I’ve done nothing wrong.
Could be exceptional if I let myself be.
If I tried.
But, the fear. It holds my wrists at my side and punches holes in my sense of security.
It grabs my ankles and trips me if I try to move.
The fear wants me to stay where I am when every other part is ready to go.
The brain is on board.
The behaviors have evolved.
I’m not that person and I’m not in that place.
Why did these fears follow me here?
Why can’t I think them away?
I suppose old learned emotions, and reactions, and instincts, aren’t as susceptible to thoughts or proof.
I don’t want to fear that thing anymore.
I don’t want to fear that person.
I don’t want to fear my small mistakes when others would barely regard them as such as others makes mistepsuch larger and are hardly saddled with an inkling of guilt.
Do I drag?
Do I crawl?
Do I cleave off the limbs so firmly cemented in this stagnant soil?
I certainly won’t wait for someone to free me.
Do I leap from my skin?
Do I crawl from the shell those bad things are clinging to and crush it?
Do I emerge and fly forward to where they can’t reach me?
There’s no place for me there.
I belong elsewhere.
So I’ll unshackle myself with the faith I’ve found.
Not in the Earth or the sky, but in me.
And I’ll go free.